Finally. Just two weeks more and I'll be unemployed again. Can't wait to start classes in August, although I'm still not too enthusiastic at the prospect of having to commute everyday to classes. After being away from school for such a while I hope the Bachelor Degree program isn't as daunting as I think it will be. Things have calmed down somewhat at home. But if I know better, that'll never last. Something will eventually set off the old lady again. I worry about sis every day. I'm happy that she's having a boy, but I pray that her health doesn't fail leading up to her delivery and afterwards. She's at home less and less, spending time with her boyfriend in Ladyville. He better take good care of her.
Things will be a lot quieter from now on I suppose. She's leaving home, it seems. My best friend Michael is leaving for good in about a week. Life is made up of one departure after the next, whether it be from one's vicinity or from this plane of existence altogether. *sigh* It'll be my turn someday...hopefully. I can't stay here forever.

Also, I wonder if I'll ever be happy. I seem to sabotage every blessed opportunity I happen to chance upon. What do I have to show for all my troubles, but depression and a mass of confused feelings for them. One, I'm not sure I'll ever fully reveal my feelings for. The other, forever unattainable. The last, I've effectively manage to let slip from my grasp. Time and distance have done their damage. I still feel the same about her, I'm not sure if she still does though -_-.
I feel as if my insides are falling out and I'm trying to clutch at them, while at the same time trying to keep her from slipping through my fingers, like sand from a broken hourglass. I want so badly to be with her, but I feel as if I've lost that opportunity. She seems not to want to talk to me anymore. What can I do? Everyone of them I feel I have to move on from, I leave a piece of me behind with them. And it hurts. I feel that the holes in me are starting to show. If there is another, and it looks like there always is (there seems to be no lack of those who fall for an undeserving fool like me, and I can never understand why they do); I don't think I'll be able to remain with my heart and my sanity intact. I was never meant for numerous relationships. I know now. That's why I've been single for so long. I can be as hard as I want to on the outside, but the truth of the mattter is I'm just too damn brittle. I can and will break. Please Lord, just give me a little more time.

At least, sleep is the one constant I can count on. To spirit me away, either to it's sweet oblivion or to the realm of dreams. Sleep...